Friday, September 14, 2018

Writing and the Balance

Yesterday I felt unbalanced.

It's been a busy work week, just as it promises to be a busy semester. I have three research projects I'll be working on, plus recreating a new class or two, plus the usual teaching and student work. I spent all of yesterday creating a new syllabus for a class, something that should have taken me a week or so.

(I promise you I'm not hypomanic, just busy.)

In addition, I got three rejections yesterday. That brings me up to 1/4 of my queries coming back as rejections in four days. At least they rejected me quickly.

After it all, I felt unbalanced, like I always do when there's too much work and not enough pleasurable things in my life. I used to think what I needed was recognition -- to get noticed, to get published, to get an award or something. In other words, to get what I would call a "cookie".

Yesterday I realized that I don't need cookies. I need, instead, to get rid of feeling bad.

In other words, I need to get back into balance. And I'm coming to realize that writing, in and of itself, helps me feel balanced. (So do good smells, reading, tub soaks, and surprising new discoveries).

So I will persevere and keep writing.

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