“Through the years,
we all will be together
if the Fates allow –
“
I have spent
Christmas surrounded by family, sitting in Santa’s lap as a young child. I have
spent Christmas stirring gravy for the Friends of Christmas holiday meal for
those alone or suffering. I have spent Christmas musing about some fellow I’d
developed a crush on. I’ve spent Christmas estranged from family. I’ve spent
Christmas sleeping on a friend’s couch. I’ve spent Christmas admitted to a
private psychiatric treatment program. I have spent Christmas caroling with
Mormons, sitting in silence with Quakers, performing at Lessons and Carols with
Episcopalians, holding a Yule ritual on my own. I have spent Christmas trying
to convince my mother she wasn’t dying and years later watching her on her
deathbed. I’ve spent Christmas being snubbed by a boyfriend’s family. I have
spent Christmas holding my breath on a perfectly still Christmas evening among
the lights of a community park, realizing that every Christmas holds a mystery
for the heart to solve.