No Turning Back

 

Yesterday was a grueling day putting together my book materials and making sure they're formatted right. Everything's uploaded to KDP; there's no turning back.

I could, if I wanted to, turn my back on it and not give it any publicity. I could do that. But I won't. I will do the best I can on publicity, although this too scares me. 

Publishing Kringle Conspiracy is an experiment, to see what goes well and what I could do better next time, if there is a next time. It's a way of seeing whether this is a way I would want to go again. 

At the moment, I feel more exhausted than excited, probably because I spent six hours on it yesterday. I need to work on the positives to keep going.  

Wish me luck!

Setting a Reminder

Right now, my writing routine is disordered. It's the first week of Spring semester, and I expend a lot of energy setting the scene in my classes for the semester. The creative space in my mind is filled with strategies for getting students to interact more in my class. My cognitive skills grind in the background on new tricks for explaining concepts.

When I get home from work, I'm tired. I'm "I can't think anymore" tired. "Let's watch some cat videos --- aren't those cats darling? (*sniffle*) tired. I study potential garden plants for my edible landscaping project, and somehow noting that Nectaroscordum tripedale is in the Allium family and will grow in USDA zone 5 takes up fewer brain cells than writing.

The exhaustion gets better once I get back into my routine. Three weeks from now I won't even flinch at the everyday chaos -- trudging through blowing snow into the building; the rare bedbug scare; the projector that refuses to project. My class plans will need adjusting but, hey, I'm a professional here. But those first two weeks wring me out.

I force myself to write during those times. I write this blog, even though I stare at the screen at times like this, searching my brain for topics. I set a task on my reminder software to write an hour every day.

It turns out that I don't want to lose my writing, even if I never get published. I want the discipline, I want the joy of finally doing something with my creative side. I'll have to take breaks, I'm sure. But I'll fight myself -- my exhaustion and my discouragement -- to keep writing.

50,000 is just a beginning

I've met my NaNo goal in half a month.
Phew!
But this novel writing is just beginning...

There's about 40,000-50,000 words left to write, and then there's editing, editing, and more editing. There's letting other people read it for reactions. There's marketing it to an agent.

But that's okay.

Phew!