Monday, February 4, 2019

Ready to Quit?

My tarot reading for today (Deck: The Good Tarot, a positive psychology/affirmations deck) says it's time to decide whether I want to continue writing or not.

For all my threats of giving up, I'm not sure I'm ready. The problem is that when I want to quit, I'm running on feelings and moods, which in my case can run rather intense. What's worse, I'm running on that primordial soup of past hurts that it's easy to fixate on:

  • I thrive on recognition.Recognition is the positive attention that kept me going through a rather negative childhood.
  • I don't deal well with rejection. (Who does?) As an overweight, highly intelligent, awkward child, I received a lot of rejection so I tend to overreact to it.
  • I don't like being made a fool of, having been the butt of jokes much of my life. I'm afraid I'm being a fool by continuing to hope.
On the other hand:
  • I see myself as a hopeful person
  • I highly admire perseverance 
  • I like the image of being a writer (although I wrestle with whether I need traditional publishing to feel like a writer)
  •  I like writing. A lot. Editing, not so much. Querying -- I love the optimism I feel when I send out a new query. I hate rejections. 
  •  I love to have people discover my writing.

The key, though, is that if I quit only to find that someone picks up Prodigies, I would un-quit in a second.  If I had readers, especially ones I could communicate with, I would write with and for a community.

Quitting won't get me what I need. So, how do I get what I need out of writing?

No comments:

Post a Comment

I believe that everyone here comes with good intent. If you come to spoil my assumptions by verbal abuse, excessive profanity, spam or other abuses I had not considered, I reserve the right to delete your notes or delete your participation. I am the arbiter of what violates good intent.