Note to readers: I do not have multiple personality disorder. I am just very aware of when aspects of my personality were forged by experience. This is just a writing exercise, thinking of a situation when I had a crush once.
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Did I mention that I contain multitudes?
My fifteen-year-old self followed you like a puppy, wriggling for a little attention. My seventeen-year-old self, the intense one, stood dumb, disconcerted by beauty. The older and wiser me just wanted to learn what it was like to be artistic, having taken such an analytical career as academia.
My younger selves meant no harm. They didn't wish to make your body tense up while reading online, wondering if I spoke about you or not. They didn't mean to worry you. Sometimes our inner selves can be needy. I'm sorry if I was a problem.
You may not have even noticed. I think this is very likely. You have your own needs, your own multitudes, your own shadows, your own occupations. This might just be what dazzled Fifteen.
You may not ever read this blog. That's okay; I have no idea who reads this. Just know that I needed to say it, being full of childhood Catholic guilt at a moment's notice (I think Seven takes care of that). But my multitudes need closure.
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I believe that everyone here comes with good intent. If you come to spoil my assumptions by verbal abuse, excessive profanity, spam or other abuses I had not considered, I reserve the right to delete your notes or delete your participation. I am the arbiter of what violates good intent.