Something I learned at Archon -- how to write a query letter

I learned many useful and encouraging things at Archon, including the fact that many published writer I saw on panels had upward of 100 and even 200 rejections before getting an agent or getting published. (Whew! I have so many more to look for!)

The most helpful thing I learned, however, was how to write a query letter. I'll write my first-draft letter to illustrate the process. What I learned, above all, was that a query letter writes like a business letter. This will be a query letter to an agent -- most people start with getting an agent, because most publishers won't look at a manuscript unless an agent hands it to them.

The first paragraph is a brief introduction and where you found out the agent was available:

My name is Lauren Leach-Steffens, and I am interested in finding an agent. I saw that you were accepting new clients on your website, http://www.xxxxxx.xxx.

The middle paragraph -- here is twist #1 on the business letter -- is devoted to a synopsis of the book you are emailing a sample of. This synopsis should be the sort of thing you'd put on the back cover. It should give an idea of the main characters and plot, without giving up the ending. In other words, the sort of thing I put on the back of my business cards:


       Josh Young, an aspiring writer, envisions a mystical garden, which becomes real in                              horticulturalist Jeanne Beaumont's hands, and they become targeted by a shadowy cabal that                puts their visions and their lives in danger.

I think it could be a little, but not much, longer, so let's try this:


       In the current day, Josh Young, an aspiring writer, sees a mystical garden in his visions. Permaculturist Jeanne Beaumont finds herself threatened by forces inside and outside academia for reasons she can't decipher. Joining hearts and forces, they create a gestalt to turn one of Jeanne's permaculture guilds into the Garden of Josh's visions, and they become targeted by a shadowy cabal that puts their visions and their lives in danger.

The third paragraph is where I introduce myself:

Lauren Leach-Steffens, the author, has published several academic articles in the field of family economics, and has recently decided to write contemporary fantasy novels. Her work reflects themes of identity, pacifism in wartime, sacrifice, and ordinary heroes. 



If you think this needs something, please suggest! Richard thinks the word "gestalt" is pretentious; I think it's entirely accurate given the circumstances.