I hadn't given you an excerpt for a while; this is from what I'm currently writing.
Background: Grace Silverstein, an eighteen-year-old viola prodigy, and Ichirou Shimizu, a seventeen-year-old graphic design prodigy, have just escaped gunfire from the place they had been invited to participate in an international assembly for prodigies in Krakow. Through a combination of luck and craftiness, they have holed up in an all-night pierogi place in the Stare Misto. They eat dinner, given that they barely picked at their food at the earlier banquet, and discuss their predicament:
Ichirou interrogated me after the waiter had left. “How come you have money?” He studied me through his steel-framed glasses.
“I’m 18. I’ve been handling my own finances since I was 15. I have a credit card.”
“As a high school student?” Ichirou peered over his nerd glasses at me.
“As a trust fund baby.” I peered back at the youngster.
Ichirou pulled out his phone and tapped on the screen. “Trust fund baby?”
“My parents died in a plane crash when I was fifteen.”
“I’m sorry,” Ichirou murmured.
“It’s complicated. I spent most of my life at boarding schools — music schools — I never really knew my parents as Mom and Dad.”
“That’s strange,” Ichirou replied. He paused, as if he would say more.
At that moment, the waiter came back with our drinks. Ichirou scrutinized his cup of hot water with a teabag beside it. My water came in a bottle and appeared to be bubbly.
“I would recommend looking at the Krakow Misalliance,” the waiter smiled, reaching toward an invisible lock of hair and then stopping. “It takes a while to cook, though. Your pierogis will be out in a minute.” He wandered off, and I noted that he glanced over his shoulder at the door.
I glanced at the door again, and thankfully I didn’t see any beefy men striding through. “Do you think they’re going to find us here?” I fretted.
“Hard to tell.” Ichirou took a sip of the tea he had brewed in his cup. “This is tea?”
“This is the way the rest of the world drinks tea, Ichirou,” I smirked, then sobered.
Ichirou took a deep breath. “What happened back there? At the Palace?”
“I think they want people with talents. Not talents like ours, but talents like yours. Like what you knew would happen when I watched your screen saver.”
“I didn’t know for sure,” Ichirou responded. “I thought it might.”
“You tested that on me without knowing what it would do?” I hissed just as the waiter came by with our plates. Ichirou gave me a warning look.
“Venison pierogis for you,” the waiter handed me my plate with a dancer’s grace, “and cabbage pierogis for the vegetarian. Let me know if you need anything.” The waiter walked off, glancing over his shoulder again.
“So you think they’re after me because of my animation,” Ichirou conjectured between bites. “What about the others, then? What about you?”
Good question, and not one I’d been able to answer. “Nastka — Anastasja — I overheard her talking to Matusiak about practicing something — and did you notice that her talent was not mentioned in the introductions? And the twins — they’d had contact with this bunch before, and they were terrified.” I remembered the white faces of the children and their mother, and I remembered the gunshots as we fled the building, and wondered what their resistance had cost them. “As for me, my only talent is music — honestly.”
“We’ll see,” Ichirou responded, rubbing his chin. “You’re here.”
“Whatever,” I responded.
I have a month and a half to wait on my manuscript that's with HarperLegend -- if I hear nothing by August 1, I have to regroup again.
1. Is a minor able to manage a trust account? I only ask becasue it seems unusual for a child to be allowed to handle their own trust account.
ReplyDelete2. Why does Grace think that the men with guns were after people with certian gifts?
3. What is each characters emotional response to the violence they just wittnessed?
4. What weaknesses do each character possess?
5. Will those weaknesses manifest in moments of crisis?
6. What are the characters plans for each other.
Very insightful comments! I will answer them here:
ReplyDelete1) I can't believe I forgot this? Because Grace's parents died when she was 15, she applied for and won emancipated minor status at age 17. She is now 18.
2) I should probably let you read what's been written so far. The group of prodigies went through a banquet with strange undertones, where they were vaguely welcomed to a "project" that was to promote peace among countries. The waiters were hired muscle. There are a few other things here, but suffice it to say that there were hints. Ichirou also had shown her his talent, which is a freaky ability to affect moods.
3) As this is from Grace's point of view, we only see Ichirou's through observation, and as Ichirou is Japanese, culturally he will hide some of this. However, you are right -- I need to emphasize this more (subtly in Ichirou's case).
4 and 5) Grace gets tough, sarcastic, and defensive (passive), owing to the fact that her parents weren't there for her and she had to navigate as a black/Jewish girl in the elitist world of music. Ichirou is a recovering hikikomori -- a young male who withdraws from the world and spends all his time in his room with no motivation. This seems to be a phenomenon of either autism or (in his case) high sensitivity. He keeps it under wraps (or at least not visible) much of the time, but it slips out in stress as a need to isolate himself, usually to work on his computer. In this scene, he should be sitting really close to the wall uneasily; he may sit with his back to the door to be avoidant.
5) At this point, Grace thinks Ichirou is about 11 or 12 because of his size. She will find out later (probably a year from now) as Ayana (Ichirou's teacher, who is involved in this) will pull her out of school because her life is in danger. They will grow closer (for the right or wrong reasons) and fall in love rather clumsily. What they find out about prodigies and themselves will probably help with their falling in love because of their relative isolation to others.
Would you like to beta-read when I'm done? You ask the right questions!