Watching Black Friday

So we went to Black Friday at two of the commerce centers of the Kansas City area -- Oak Park Mall in Olathe, KS, and the Plaza in Kansas City. People were shopping pretty civilly; Christmas music was not nearly in the air as much as I expected. There were lots of people to watch; we bought some clothes and an obnoxious jingle bell necklace for myself. It flashes red and green as well.

Our mini-vacation is ending today; we'll drive home and put up our Christmas decorations tomorrow. A lot of people I know put up their decorations pre-Thanksgiving because a well-publicized study said that people who put up their Christmas decorations earlier were happier. We decided that after Thanksgiving was early enough.

I didn't come up with any new writing ideas over the break. I think I'm too tired to right now and should stick to my classes and grading till I get there. 

Let me be the first to wish you a happy holiday, no matter what holiday you celebrate this season. 

Thanksgiving on the Plaza

It's (American) Thanksgiving morning and I am at a Starbucks on Country Club Plaza. Given the number of people here, I have to think that not everyone spends their holiday in the oft-touted multigenerational blowout meal followed by a gender-segregated tradition where men watch football and women do all the cleanup.

If I'd gone the childbearing route, I would likely be expected to host, as expressed in the song "Over the river and through the woods/to grandmother's house we go". The song also mentions a sleigh, a rather outmoded form of transportation involving a semi-sentient horse that knows the way. Trust me, if I were Grandma, we'd be going out to eat.

Richard and I are those kind of adults who live far away from their relatives and who will neither host nor journey to those traditional Thanksgiving feasts, so we go someplace nearby that's determined to have Thanksgiving dinners for people like us. This year it's Kansas City, where we're staying in a bed and breakfast just off the Plaza and watching the Plaza lighting from the balcony. And watching people go crazy for Black Friday.

What am I thankful for? My quirky, unconventional life.

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Because our families are so far away and it's no fun to cook for two and our house is too chaotic for guests (with now four cats, as Buddy has been shunning our house for brighter prospects with his buddy the black-and-white cat), my husband and I go somewhere fun and eat turkey there.

This year, we're off for a couple days to a mini-holiday in Kansas City: Staying at a bed and breakfast on the Plaza, eating turkey at a restaurant in Waldo (all together: where's Waldo?), knocking around and watching shoppers on Black Friday. The bed and breakfast -- Southmoreland on the Plaza -- promises to be a treat, with afternoon sherry and turndown chocolates.

I started dating my now-husband on Thanksgiving break in 2005. He got acquainted to my ritual of watching Black Friday shoppers rather than shopping (much cheaper, fewer hassles). I think that's why we got married: he liked my quirk. 

So this should be a pleasant break before going back to work (I'm a professor of human services) on Monday. But there's only one week of work, then finals, then I'm off for Winter Break. That's just strange.

Practicing my query synopsis for Whose Hearts are Mountains

Anna Schmidt, a shell-shocked anthropologist, searches cross-country for the origin of an elusive folk tale in the wilds of the former United States. She holds her own secrets as the daughter of the premier cryptologist of the era, on the run by her deceased stepfather's urging. She finds tantalizing hints of the tale, threats to her life, and unlikely connections -- and a threat against humanity that only she, with her knowledge of cryptology, can solve.

Writing and the Art of Concealment

Writing is like performing magic in a way --

Writing utilizes misdirection -- sometimes a misinterpretation of facts, or an unreliable witness, or an ambiguity can draw the reader's mind away from an early conclusion.

Sometimes the omission of one sentence can conceal the plot twist from the reader. Agatha Christie does this well in The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, where the narrator leaves out important actions he has performed.

A hint should not be too obvious, too direct, too revealing. In effect, they're like the baffling prophecy in Oedipus Rex, where we can't see how Oedipus is going to kill his father and wed his mother until it unfolds. 

At the same time, the misdirection can't be an outright falsehood, unless that falsehood is in the hands of an unreliable narrator or witness. The writer cannot lie; the characters can lie, or misinterpret, or make mistakes.

I was reminded of this yesterday when editing Whose Hearts are Mountains, because my developmental editor noted that I made something too obvious to readers who would have read my other work. How to make it less obvious? At one place, keeping silent. At another, misdirecting. Making things less obvious at another.

I feel like a magician when I can do this, knowing that words are as concrete or wispy as I need them to be.

Writing for Myself

I think I've passed through the other side of my dejection about not getting published. I've received enough rejections (for novels and poems and short stories, by publishers and agents and Pitch Wars). What does that leave?

Writing and improving for myself, primarily. Not letting my self-esteem be at the mercy of publishers and agents. Of course, I would like to be published (I have a couple little things published, and it's fun).  I'd like to have a novel published. I'd like to be published somewhere that people actually read.

I'm willing to keep trying, because the rejections aren't really that painful anymore. I can take more until my writing hits the right person, whoever that is. 

Wish me luck.

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I took off yesterday from writing the blog because I'M ON VACATION FOR A WHOLE WEEK! 

Ok, I got that out of my system. 

I'm a writer, though. I have things to do over vacation:

• Edit one short story for a short story contest.
• Edit a couple poems (minor edit)
• Edit Whose Hearts are Mountains, which seriously needs a developmental editor because I don't know if I'm going in the right direction
• Rethink this whole writing thing (which I do once a week).

Fangirling over TwoSet Violin

Ok. I'm fangirling over TwoSet Violin.

For the people who don't know, TwoSet Violin is a darling pair of twenty-somethings classically trained in violin, who demystify violin for a non-technical audience (of which I'm one) and entertain in a thoroughly modern zaniness.

They (Brett Yang and Eddie Chen) post videos on YouTube where they highlight virtuoso violinists, roast obviously fake movie footage, throw jokes around about practicing and overly strict Asian moms, explain musical memes, and serenade unappreciative kangaroos. 

Their videos are like potato chips -- once you've had a handful, you crave more of them. Eddy plays straight man to Brett's mobile expressions and fidgety energy. Their narration is augmented with popular culture in the form of video game noises, memes, and captions. 

In a perfect world, I would get to meet the two of them, just to say hi. But that's what all the fangirls, even the ones thirty years older, say.

Better get over this burnout quick.

My brain needs a rest.

I think I burned myself out doing 50 hours of editing Gaia's Hands in ten days. My brain definitely needed a break. Then I'm in the busy part of my semester, and have graded 45 final projects and 25 papers in the last two weeks. And put together my classes for next semester. 

I think maybe I'm a little burned out on everything. I tend to want to sleep a lot, even though I'm not depressed.  It's a good thing that I have a week off for Thanksgiving next week, then a week of finals, and then Christmas.

I'm not going to let the burnout last long. I need to think of a project -- maybe editing Whose Hearts are Mountains before a dev edit. Maybe editing a story or two for submission, or even writing a new story. Someone suggested I turn the short story Hands into a novel, but I think that would require a research trip to Poland, where I don't know the language nor what I'm looking for. 

I'm trying to find my direction forward, and it's harder now that I've calmed down about getting published. I should go back to my goals and see if I need to revise or add or just get cracking on them.

Hope and the writer

An acquaintance told me the other day that every single last one of you are bots.

It may be true -- for some reason my readership is down to ten most days. (Probably the fact that I was doing short NaNo updates, which aren't all that interesting, I guess).

I'm still writing in my blog, and I will keep writing in it for one reason: Hope. Hope is the conviction that there will be better outcomes. It's what helps us through those things we have no power over -- after I have done all the corrections, the dev edits, the query letter improvements, I hope that I will get published. If I keep publishing blog entries and advertising them on social media, I hope I will have readers.

Hope is what keeps me going in the absence of progress. 

Dreams vs goals

I've been pretty mellow lately about my writing, getting my enjoyment from editors telling me how to improve. This is my most noble self, but my sanguinity even in the face of rejections doesn't motivate me to push myself -- for example, I haven't sent queries lately. I haven't finished editing Whose Hearts are Mountains (although that may need a developmental editor). 

I still daydream about getting a novel published, even though I understand how hard it is, and I know I'm not a literary writer but a genre writer, and my stuff seems like it needs an endless amount of improvement ...

I need to set some goals again. I'll make them SMART goals -- specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound.

• Write/submit 5 short stories/poems/flash fiction by December 31, 2020
• Get Whose Hearts are Mountains into developmental edit by March 1, 2020
• Send 50 queries for Gaia's Hands by February 1, 2020
• Send 50 queries for Apocalypse by August 1, 2020

Note that my goals are in terms of what I will do (submit) rather than what might happen (publication). It's not realistic for me to determine someone else's actions. 

I suspect I will be successful in fulfilling these goals -- in general I'm very goal oriented. What I don't know is if they'll yield dreams come true.

I don't know where I'm going

I know I've been writing very boring posts lately, and for that I apologize. My justification (not excuse) is NaNo and projects.

What have I been thinking about lately? NaNo and projects. Ok, that's not a good start to a blog.

I've also been thinking about my relationship with writing. On one hand, I've hit some very positive rejections that have 1) given me ideas of how to improve, and 2) have said positive things about my writing. 

I might actually be taking my writing more seriously than I have before, and with that I wonder more if I can get my writing to the point where it deserves being published. I don't know if I've gotten there with my stories, and I wonder what it would take to get to that point. 

I still have some big things out there -- I have Prodigies at DAW, Apocalypse at Tor, Voyageurs in a novella contest, a submission to Pitch Wars, and -- well, I don't think I will win any of these. And I don't know what to think about this. 

Meh again

I think I burned myself out on editing for a while.

It's Sunday, and I have plenty of time to edit Whose Hearts are Mountains for NaNo. Yet I can't bring myself to do it, even though I have nothing better to do today.

On the other hand, I've got 69 hours in between the two novels, and NaNo is a little more than half over. 

What I need is a new developmental editor, as mine has gone on leave and I really don't know what to do with Whose Hearts are Mountains. How does one find a developmental editor? 

Meh.

I took a break from the blog yesterday because I've been working on my online presence for spring classes (all done; assignments are where they should be with due dates as they should be) and working on Whose Hearts are Mountains (which isn't a total mess, but a frustrating problem with how to make more tension in the first half.)

I'm at 67k (67 hours) for NaNo, at least 50 of that going to the big edit of Gaia's Hands. I've almost quit posting time because I'm so far over my time.

Today I am going to spend as much time as I can stand on Whose Hearts are Mountains, but I don't know how much that will be because I'm feeling a bit underwhelmed. Not upset, not depressed, just underwhelmed with my writing. Meh.

Writers' Balk

I woke up this morning not wanting to write.

Actually, it's an editing day -- Whose Hearts are Mountains won't edit itself. But I am not, as they say, feeling the love.

It might be that the 50k/10 days binge edit of Gaia's Hands has taken a lot out of me. It could be because it's a week and a half  till Thanksgiving Break and I'm on break already. It could be because I'm discouraged from the latest rejections. It could be because I'm not sure why I want to get published at the moment.

At any rate, I'm staring at the draft thinking, "How do I fix this?" This meaning one of the big flaws of the first half of the book (having fixed the other two) which is pacing.

I was told there was not enough of import happening in the first half, despite the fact that she gets shot at, rammed into, kidnapped, and exposed to a virus. And has flashbacks from being captured by a paramilitary group. You can see why I'm bewildered. 

I HAVE to work on it tonight, because I'm having a NaNo Come Write Me space at the Board Game Cafe. So maybe I wait till then.

test page

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If I get published

If I ever get a book published traditionally (my optimistic friends say "when", not "if"), it will change my life in many ways. 

The money won't be a big change -- according to Derek Murphy, the average amount an author earns is the advance, which is $10k, or $8k after the agent gets their cut.  

I will have to hire an entertainment lawyer to look over the contract and see if there are any potential hitches. 

I will have to sign a contract, after which my rights to my book will be curtailed for a period of time.

I will have to consider promoting my book, which will include travel. I would likely do this in the summer, which means I will have to schedule around internship visits.

I will have to step up my social media game. I haven't done that yet because I have nothing really to promote except this blog. 

I've probably forgotten something.

Sometimes it seems more work than it's worth, but it's worth it to me. So I keep trying, keep improving, keep pushing myself.

Moving on to the next edit

Gaia's Hands is a done book. I will probably send it out for queries after the first of the year. For now, I want it to rest on my computer and I want to not be obsessed with it for a while.

Now to move on to edit Whose Hearts are Mountains. I don't have a lot to go by, as my dev editor is on leave. But what I have is daunting -- not enough action in the beginning. I thought I had enough action in the beginning, but now I have to figure out how to put in more. 

I used to be horrible in receiving criticism. Now I'm humble and take it with the belief that it will make my writing better. I've learned a lot, and I'm always learning more. 

I hope it's making me better. I hope it's making me good enough to be published. 

Not doing that again.

I'm still done with NaNo. And my brain is fried. 

Five hours a day editing seemed really rational while I was doing it, but I feel like half the month has passed without me really noticing.  (It's only one third of the month.) I've managed to get all my "work-work" done during that time period, strangely enough.

I've promised to continue doing NaNo, but only two hours a day. Maybe. If I can manage it. 

Now back to final read of Gaia's Hands, which has turned out to be far, far better than it was on first writing.

50K!

I just made my 50k words for NaNoWriMo (actually 50 hours, as I was rebelling this year by editing) in 10 days. That's 5 hours a day, which means I wasn't doing much of anything else but writing in my spare time. 

It was insane. On the other hand, I think I have Gaia's Hands to the point where, after a friend reads it, I could publish it. I think I learned a lot about editing. And focus. And feeling braindead at the end of a day.

I will finish a read-through on it, and then, I will probably start on Whose Hearts are Mountains. Only 2 hours a day, though. And it's going to take a lot more work, because it has structural problems in the first third. 

Time to pass out now.

Day 7 NaNo

Another boring post. 35 hours. 

It's really interesting finding out how long a good edit takes. I'm 35 hours into a book and not at the end. 

I promise more content after I've made 50k.

Day 6 NaNo

I'm not going to have the brain work to write entries until I'm at least at 50K on NaNo. Which, at this rate, will be Monday.

30 hours so far.

NaNo day 5

25 hours (25K words) on NaNo. I'm very lucky I have the time to do this (aided greatly by the fact that I don't watch tv and I have an excellent attention span.) I wish I could find those excellent graphics that NaNo offered us!

The hard part comes ahead -- so far the path to revision (including adding material) has been easy, with some of my best writing happening. Now I know things that are going to happen but not quite what to do there. Wish me luck!

Day 4 NaNo

20.000 words. I'm really pushing myself on this because I want to be done (which means still working on the project but done with NaNo hours) before Thanksgiving. Phew!

Third Day NaNo

Yesterday I was at 20 hours, equivalent to 20k words. I also got schooled on how I really should proofread better, because a submission of mine had a wrong name at least once in the 1000 words.

I'm still getting more rejections and wondering if it's me or the stories. And if it's remediable. I'm getting inspired by editing since I'm seeing possibilities opening up with Gaia's Hands.

😒 Wait. I have emojis! I just discovered this! 

Second Day Nano

Can't find the cool picture today.

Edited 4 more hours for a total of 10 hours. I won't be able to keep this pace for long But it's sure fun to try. 

First Day NaNo

6000 words (or more accurately for a Rebel, 6 hours).

It's November First?!?

I'm sorry for not writing yesterday -- I was pretty sick.

I've been fighting a cold or something over the past two weeks, but yesterday morning it went supernova -- I ached so badly I couldn't move, I coughed constantly, had a sore throat -- so I stayed home and slept for 20 hours. 

Only to wake up on November 1st and realize -- OMG, it's NANO TIME!

So today, as promised, I have to spend at least two hours today editing*, something I have been avoiding up till now. Two hours. When am I going to do this? When?

Deep breath. I have time after 2 PM today, being that it's a Friday and all and there won't be any meetings today. And I have a place -- the Board Game Cafe.

All I need now is the initiative.

Oh, by the way, I had a poem make Submittable's Rejection Horror Stories 2019. (Mine is the poem).


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* I'm a rebel this year, doing some much needed editing instead of writing something new. On NaNoWriMo, I'm lleachie.